Soooo I think I'm tiring myself out. I think I have too rigid of a schedule and need to chill. Menstruating Jess is not a happy Jess to begin with especially when added to a new environment and trying to get the hang of everything into the mix. Usually I wake up at 8 AM wicked tired, rip myself away from bed to get ready, and go out to greet/retrieve my breakfast between 8:30-8:45 AM. I officially head out at 9:30 AM to study, greet people or brave the bush until 1 PM, come back to fetch water and wait for lunch which is at 1:30-2 PM. I eat lunch and have a quick break to myself before I go out to study again between 3/3:30-5:30 PM. I head back inside my hut to work out from 5:30-6:30 PM, shower, write/derp/study/plan until dinner comes at 8 PM, eat and brush up, then go out and sit between 8:30-9:30 PM. Sometimes I go to the mosque but I'm probably not ever going to do that again until the next blue moon, I am SO tired at night. I don't end up sleeping until 10:30/11 PM and I'm exhausted the next day. I definitely burned myself out yesterday and crashed after lunch.
I started off the day strong by making my way to my community rep's place all by myself (follow mosques/electricity lines) and greeted people all along the way. Whiiiich might have made me 40 minutes late, oops. I weighed a child who was previously malnourished to check her progress and sat around to greet people. We also checked up on the guy who was sick from yesterday and thankfully he was much better. His family was so nice and gave us bananas for visiting. I walked back home for lunch and there's this kid who hung around HM's place the entire morning who followed me back. He had the same last name as me so he must've been a younger brother or cousin of some kind to me. Anyways, he followed me/walked me home - and he's like 9 or something. I arrive home and tried to separate pounded coos for a while and failed terribly so I went inside to rest up for a bit. I did give one of my sister's and her friend a laugh because I was just so sucky at it, hah. I was completely drained and called my friend Tyler to whine because my period symptoms flared like none other that day and I was particularly whiney. No worries, it too shall pass. The boy who walked me home, unbeknownst to me, WAS STILL THERE AND DID NOT GO HOME. He hid behind the other side of my house so the front part of my compound couldn't see him. He kept on calling my name and knocking at my door and I didn't know what he wanted so I just told him to go home. (I don't invite anyone inside to keep my boundaries high to set a precedence, it's easier taking them away than reinforcing them in the future) The boy kept on lingering and said he was hungry so I told him to go eat my lunch at the front of my compound, not like some creep chilling at the side of my house. Besides, there were benches there! He kept on declining - maybe he was shy? I don't know. I asked my host brother if I could give the boy my leftovers and he said yes. When I turned around to give the kid the bowl, he disappeared. I went back in my house but heard him knocking again and then heard my mom shout at him. "BOY! What are you doing." I think he left like an hour later after that. Also my sister's friend called me to come out (normally no one calls me to come out when I go in my house, I come out and spend a bunch of time when I'm ready) and I asked her why and she said "nothing." Annoying... I would have more patience but it's definitely period time.
I spent the entire afternoon inside and went out for a hot second in the evening. I just felt really crappy that day. Tired. I have to learn to pace myself. I went to bed at 8:30 that night and slept until 6. Today, I did nothing but pamper myself and it felt pretty good despite the nagging guilt feeling. I told my family I had a headache - which was true, and my body just felt worn out but I have no idea how to say that aside from "my body is broken" and I don't know how they'd take that, haha - but sifted some coos with them for 15 minutes. I was better at that than separating it, for sure. I went to fetch water and after that, I spent the whoooole day in and went out to do some letter-writing for about an hour. I did some laundry, washed my rope bag, packed for Basse tomorrow, worked out, organized some stuff, and it was really relaxing. I went out to write a letter and talked to my uncle and my other uncle's wife and she was annoying at first but I warmed up to her after asking to see pictures of her husband (who is in France working). The kids were also particularly annoying me today because they kept on asking me what different things were called in Serehule even though I told them I was writing. I think they got it when I sternly told them I was writing a letter. Even though I didn't study all day, I managed to communicate in okay Serehule. My uncle's wife kept on telling me to take her to America and that The Gambia is not great (lots of people say that, no problem it doesn't phase me) but I insisted, in Serehule, that both are great and that she has not gone to both countries yet but I have, and I can say that both are "sweet" (as they call it here). She was persistent but so was I. I got a little sassy today, too, my 20 year old sister was telling me to pound coos and I said no because I had a headache and my younger sister emphasized what I said. The older one kept on going on and on and I just suddenly spoke in very fast English, like, three sentences and she just stopped and laughed saying she didn't understand me. I agreed and asked if English was hard and I think she got the message. Normally I don't sass back, in fact I haven't sassed anyone back, but today I was just not having it. She always asks me to do stuff and I'm like chill, I'm learning, I'll get to it I promise! She probably thinks I'm lazy because I see absolutely no one here with books (unlike training village), much less a woman writing all day. Whatevs. On a language note, I was able to say "you go to the bush first/you cook first" in Serehule and utilized some new vocab I learned. Also I have the whiniest baby ever in my compound - she's actually my 20 year old's daughter. She is cute-ish but upon the slightest ANYTHING she starts to fake cry and actually just cries over everything, haha. She eats a ton so at least she's healthy!
I rested for the entire night and felt a lot better. I think I have to adjust my daily routine and do things for myself more. Do what I want to do. This little feeling of guilt is pretty hard to come to terms with, and I'll write about that later. I'll have to study extra hard tomorrow to make up for all this lack of Serehule studying. The kids got a driver to stop in front of my house tomorrow morning at 6 AM so that's very nice of them. It would be a drag to walk all the way to the gele when it's super dark out. Christmas tomorrow!
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