Journal Entry 11/1

Test day. D day. Woke up and did the whole daily routine which always takes longer than expected. I really spent a grand total of 1.5 hours before go time and I feel bad for that. I think I'm always comparing myself and feel really conscious of the possibility of letting down expectations. People think I'm smart but really, well, I do consider myself smart but what I REALLY consider myself is a hard worker. Anyways, I did my best with Ida in our 1 on 1 and she recorded it. She'll give me a grade then she'll pass it off to someone else to grade it, and the two marks are averaged together to determine my baseline language level. There's a really big test at the end of training and that's the scariest monster of all. It's like college and exams all over again. I still can't believe it was Halloween yesterday and it's probably freezing back in New England. Last year I was kick ass Zatanna and this year I was just a basic toubab, studying under my two mosquito nets while rats on my roof were jiving away to the holiday spirit like they were at the Apollo. RUDE.

My favorite part of the day was after lunch when the ladies and I talked a lot about cross generation, jobs, family, outrageous cost of bras and panties and how the length of fabric increases with age hahaha, and men. I really enjoy our talks because we're women coming from starkly different paths of life. I'm so lucky to have them now at this age - PERSONALLY - because I don't know. I feel like they will influence me profoundly. After I lunch I went home to find my family huddled around a small kitchen TV... wtf. They have the money for that??? That really took me for surprise. I went back into my house and saw a bee...a huge ass African bee and said "DEUCES" while slowly retreating backwards out my door. I kind of walked to the right of my house thinking of what the hell I was going to do now because I was not playing with any African BEES because if one comes they all come. My family saw me walking back and forth and asked me what was wrong, so I told them the truth and said "I am not brave/I'm scared." I motioned for them to go back into the house with me (of course with me poking at the door first to examine for signs of attack). 2-3 adults came with and a million babies while I cautiously searched for the culprit responsible for the B&E. I didn't know how to say the word "bee" so I made the ZZZZZzzZzZzz sound. I finally found it and it flew to my back window, they laughed, opened the door while I turned my back and it flew out. I thought I was in the safe zone until one of the women pointed at my ceiling and there was a fucking nascent beehive that BLENDED IN WITH MY CEILING. Excuse me, what? They took it down with a stick and went to the corners of my house and dusted off the cobwebs. The kids naturally had to touch every surface and luckily I didn't have too much out but just enough to make me cringe.

After they left, I treated myself to a full afternoon of cleaning my tent/mosquito net bed (did I mention I sleep under two? Judge me all you want but guess who isn't open game every night - this girlllll), organizing my stuff so that everything I need is easily accessible to me but not by bugs, and I Finally feel really good about where everything is now! One of the ladies in my compound asked if she could put her baby in my tent and I obviously said no for clear reasons but the stars aligned and I told them I was washing it (because really I was, plus I had a bucket out) and I just learned the vocabulary "dirty" today. After a successful house scouraging mission, I got to scrub myself down a little before getting water - 2 gallons worth - which my poor 12 year old sister had to help me out with but I'm slowly getting there. I got laughed at at the pump again but I tried my best. I swear to God I will attempt to carry a gallon of water by the time training ends. The gorgeous Alkaloo's (village head) daughter was there and she visited me earlier in the day when I was studying. She wants me to visit her tomorrow. She has these STUNNING earrings and necklaces that always make her stand out. Afterwards, I carried SOME MORE water from the well for my family so I did feel better that the help was reciprocated...even if I was carrying a bucket 70x smaller than the one my sister was carrying. Later, I delievered some hydration salts to my site mate who was running low on them (these things are like gold here but I prefer my Gatorade mix better... it's just difficult knowing it's like 20 grams of sugar for 3/4 of a scoop), sat and talked in her compound while we watched the sun set, and headed back with several greetings along the way. I got back home, showered, washed stuff, and went out for my daily lessons. Somewhere in my lunch conversation I discovered that girls had a hard time with math and so I'm going to continue the "I wash hands" sentence but decided to focus on addition, subtraction, and later multiplication and division if language/time allows. It was really hard but I'm committed to work with them every night.